A young woman describes how it happened and how she found her way out of it.

Hello Helmut,

Here is my testimonial on the clitoris or penis conflict, which led to a sadomasochistic constellation. Hopefully, I will still get everything together; after all, it’s been ten years. Perhaps it will be a bit confusing.

The constellation had emerged on 17th February 2016 (I was 24 years old at that time) when I spoke with Dr. Hamer for the first time on the phone. In my CT (from 24. November 2015), he saw immediately what was going on and spoke to me directly about it. I was quite perplexed at the time. After all, you yourself often notice last that you are “no longer quite normal” respectively in a constellation — thoughts, like biting out a piece of meat once someone during sex, I did not find strange. Also, I often had very little sensitivity in the clitoris, which is why I found even relatively hard-hitting it as pleasant (unthinkable today …). My current husband, then my best friend, found these thoughts highly suspicious. He can still remember well such statements on my part.

I have never moved in Sado-Maso circles. My first constellation from the youth made me manic-depressive, then I came with 19 to Dr. Hamer – the second constellation. I was still taking the pill at that time. Because of my way of thinking and my distrust, I always kept away from such fanaticism. I would not have known how to do it. This thought did not occur to me. I must say that I am glad about it, who knows what else would have happened. At the age of 22, I stopped taking the pill (at 21, I heard about GNM for the first time, it was a process. At 22, I became more and more involved with it; hence I stopped taking the pill), then I also became visibly more depressed. I now preferred to sit at home with the blinds down.

All right, Dr. Hamer immediately (!) asked if I had been hurt (on the clitoris). I thought of the piercing! At the age of 18, I got a piercing for the first time — a lip piercing. Soon after that, a tongue piercing. At that time, I also had a boyfriend. We lived together in an apartment — he was a working student, I was a trainee. Because I considered piercings so great in my rebellious phase, I thought that a piercing above the tissue of the clitoris (i.e., NOT through the clitoris! After all, there is such a thing. … I don’t even want to look up what that one is called again, they all have their names… I just totally dislike that) would be sexy. They said it would hardly hurt. But when I got the part stung, that wasn’t the case — admittedly: The pain was only short but very intense. Today I also know why.
 
So, that was the second clitoris conflict that brought me into the constellation that was already clear. The Piercer scratched my clitoris or even stabbed through; who knows. Anyone can become a Piercer with more or less a weekend seminar.

But Dr. Hamer said that there must be something else. Approximately one year earlier. I should think about it again and call him in 2 weeks. In addition, by the way, at that time, I listened to “Mein Studentenmaedchen” for three-quarters of a year without interruption — for that, I got myself several (to exchange) small skin-colored Bluetooth headphones. Through my long hair, no one noticed it at work. I only ever had one in my ear on one side, but that’s enough.

After two weeks, I presented 2 or 3 poor thoughts, but there was nothing. I don’t even remember what it was about — but the next phone call then: It could also be that someone else was hurt, and I reacted! That was precisely the case because during sex with my boyfriend at the time, I hurt his foreskin frenulum with my long thumbnail, which, of course, bled quite intensely, and THAT was the first conflict.

Just by recognizing this, I have also solved this immediately:

In the territory conflicts must be solved the order backward. So, with 22, I removed all the piercings I had: 1x eyebrow, 1x tongue, 2x lip (a total of 4x, I had at some point then also so-called Snakebites).
1x perineum (yes, … between vagina and buttocks. Why anyone does that?!) and the piercing above the clitoris I had in just for one month because this did not want to heal, and it grew out. The subject of piercings had settled once and for all, so did the conflict.

The next conflict, the accident with my boyfriend, was solved just by recognizing it. Dr. Hamer asked me if I had anything against men or penises — no, of course not. On the contrary!

That was it. I had another CT done on 25.05.2016, and Dr. Hamer saw that everything was (is) ok again.

A few days or weeks after this one solution (since it was a third territorial conflict, this one was without load), my clitoris once swelled so much that it could hardly be distinguished from the surrounding tissue — as if nothing had been there. That would have been scary without the appropriate knowledge.

My thoughts regarding violence changed gradually and rapidly. I became an entirely different person again. Beating etc. was no longer perceived as “tingling.” The appearance of the entire vaginal area also changed enormously, which was not noticeable before! Everything became pinker, fleshier, and more lively again. In fact, the area (labia, especially inside and the clitoris, the “area” just) with the conflict looked somehow gray, “starved,” and sickly. At least / especially in comparison.

When I spoke to Helmut Pilhar about this constellation, he said that I should have been frigid at that time. Here, too, I reacted perplexed at first. Dr. Hamer did not say a word about it, but it did not matter. As I thought about it in the last few days: Yes, at that time, something really changed. For example, the relationship broke up. I was deeply in love with someone else. We also had sex, but not the way it used to be. I could no longer let myself fall, and it was somehow more mechanical and almost something like played. When it came to an end with him, Sex was over for a long time. Until then, I would have said that it was the heartbreak (I was left), but I was probably also frigid.

It was only after the phone calls with Dr. Hamer that things with men slowly returned to normal.

More and more memories come to mind as I write; I’ll let it go for now.

How many people out there have suffered such a conflict? Through a piercing, through long fingernails. Do you need long fingernails? Does one need piercings?

I always wanted tattoos. Since I am an artist, I just never had enough money for tattoo artists who can stab well enough. Even there, I am pleased about it today. Of course, many people enjoy this “body art,” who find themselves beautiful through this, who have suffered no conflict. Likewise, on the subject of long fingernails — for me, all this is simply no longer an option due to my experiences (although I still find some tattoos beautiful — still no thanks).

By the way, Dr. Hamer told me on the phone that circumcision creates precisely such a conflict. Only with eight-day old babies, who can never resolve this conflict again. A sadomasochistic constellation… I am so sorry… I haven’t seen any myself, but there are enough pornos about this — for the brain, a movie is “real” — who knows what this does to one or the other teenager when he sees such movies.

Maybe I exaggerate here because of my experience; please take care of your children…

So, that’s it from me.

Best regards to all of you!

Note by H. Pilhar

Thank you very much for this courageous report, which brings light to these dark abysses of human behavior.

 

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