Burning pain in arms and legs, but not like rheumatoid arthritis, but like the pain known as limb pain in influenza. Increasing weakness due to painful conditions, initially cramps and the partial-onset of paralysis, sensory limitations. Conventional medical diagnoses such as MS, herniated disc, and carpal tunnel syndrome were not tenable due to the progression or could be excluded via appropriate examinations.
The conflict event:
In 1998, my father died. He collapsed in the bathroom. On my mother’s immediate call, I went to my parents’ apartment. I tried to keep my father alive or resuscitate him by giving him artificial respiration and heart massage until the emergency doctor arrived on the scene. My mother was glad that I was there, and she left the action to me. Unfortunately, the emergency doctor could only determine ventricular fibrillation, and even a defibrillator could not bring my father back.
After my father’s death, the pain started, first in both hands: like lame and asleep, with tingling, etc. The assumption was another herniated disc in the cervical area (in my first pregnancy, I already had a herniation in the lumbar area), a spinal MRI brought horror to light for me: The nurse in the hospital explained that they had found a tumor in my spinal cord of the cervical spine, they still had to make a contrast image, but a doctor had to be present, and that would take about 45 minutes. I was sitting all alone in the waiting room of the clinic and had horror visions, “my children are still too small to grow up without a mother!” I was faced with the image of languishing until death.” I felt terrible and, above all, very lonely.
The re-imaging then revealed a cyst, so-called syringomyelia. According to the doctors, not life-threatening. Perhaps the cause of my symptoms in the arms and for the very frequent headaches.
The discomfort in my arms increased, my wrists hurt, I wore “carpal tunnel braces” on both hands, I had cramps in my legs at night. Then “restless legs” came along. I still slept for about 2 hours at night; then, the discomfort became so uncomfortable that I had to get up. During the day, I worked obsessively; during work, I could suppress the pain. Office – children – household – honorary position in the board of 2 associations – local council – I left nothing out.
I was referred to the University Hospital in Tübingen. A neurological examination, however, once again did not result in a diagnosis: not Lyme disease, not MS; they proceeded in the exclusion procedure – finally then the diagnosis: fibromyalgia.
Painkiller therapy and antidepressants followed – we tried different medications to see if one of them would bring relief. Antidepressants, antiepileptics, and painkillers together brought some relief – short-term.
Some days I can only get through the day with a relatively high dose of painkillers. It feels like I’m getting the flu – all my limbs ache, even when I get up. An imminent change in the weather affects me particularly severely, and mental imbalances caused by tension, sorrow, and worries also have an immediate effect. Despite protests from my doctor, I no longer take antidepressants – even though I am sometimes very tempted to switch off my consciousness with them.
Dr. Hamer explained that the cause of the disease is that I failed to keep my father alive. So it is not his death but my failure in life-sustaining measures that is the trigger.
Conflict of “not being able to hold on,” of “slipping away,” “despite all my efforts I could not hold on to life.”
The legs are probably also affected because I was “not fast enough” or had not “been there early enough” (not in the sporting sense). A motor basis, then. The pain is pain of the periosteum. My condition is conflict-active.
For this reason, a solution to the conflict is also very difficult; I cannot undo what has happened and bring my father back to life.
Dr. Hamer said that perhaps a solution would be possible if I would make my father “immortal” – e.g., in the form of a foundation or something similar that I would set up. However, as a “normal citizen,” it is impossible to bring something like that into being. I practice the same profession as my father did – architect.
Also, it might be possible to work through the conflict by changing my attitude towards the whole event. However, this has to prevail biologically – rationally speaking, it is clear to me that it is not my fault that my father did not survive.
Note by H.Pilhar
An impressive testimonial.
It can happen so quickly, and you suffer a conflict and become ill. You can’t protect yourself from conflicts.
And as you can see, it also happens that you now know the conflict but have no solution at hand.
“Making the father immortal …”, maybe the person concerned will succeed through this, her experience report?! Maybe her case will become famous … I would wish this for her.